Blending families is not simple. I think of the movie "Your's, Mine, and Ours." Obviously that is an extreme case since they both had HUGE families to begin with. But it still illustrates some of the challenges of a newly blended family.
It's hard for a child to accept a new authority figure that is supposed to meet their needs. It is suggested that it's best for the new step-parent to act in the capacity of an uncle or aunt for the first few years, depending on the family. This may seem extreme but when you think about the role of an uncle or aunt it makes sense.
An involved uncle or aunt
is always there for you
they are supportive and understanding
if there is something that is troublesome they will tell the parents
Likewise a step-parent would do well to do these things and let the birth parent be responsible for the discipline for at least the first two years to help the kids make a smooth transition.
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