CRISES

If there is one thing in this world that we can't escape from it's crises. Whether it's illness, loss of job, natural disaster, or even death; at some point or another something will happen that will change our world permanently. We all go through them, the differences come in how we handle them.

From a family perspective crises can make or break a family system. Immediately after a family crises the satisfaction level and closeness declines. That is natural and to be expected. No one should feel bad about that. However, after a time it should start to increase and the goal is that it ends up higher than it was before the crises. In other words, ideally speaking, a family should be closer and function better after a crises than before. It is possible! 

So what can we do to ensure that our families are able to actually improve from the crises of life?

1. the most important thing to do is to make sure that you work through it as a family. It is easy to push people away because "they don't understand," but the truth is that everyone is hurting and everyone needs companionship and understanding. It is especially important that the husband and wife talk. Talk about how you feel, what you are angry about, cry, scream, just make sure that you don't shut each other out. 

2. Another important thing is to stay positive. There are multiple factors that make up an experience: the actual event, the resources and responses that you have to deal with it, and the cognitions (beliefs) that you may have. The experience is much easier if you have better cognitions and responses. 

It's the family structure, not the stressor, that makes all the difference!